The statistics for online dating in our time can be really surprising. There are more than 8,000 dating sites and application around the world. In the United States alone, more than 44 million people use such services. Of these, over 26 million use mobile applications, not websites.
Huge numbers, aren’t they?
But in practice, everything is not so rosy. The Pew Research Center conducted a large study that surveyed 4,860 American adults about their online dating experience. And here the results turned out to be very mixed:
- Nearly one in three survey participants said they used (or currently use) dating sites and apps. 48% of them are young people (18-29 years old), while fewer users are aged 30-49 (38%) and even fewer are over 50 (14%).
- 57% of those surveyed reported that they had a positive experience of dating on the Internet and they are generally satisfied with such services. Meanwhile only 9% were strongly negative, and the rest shared their more neutral impressions.
- But there weren’t so many people who managed to build strong romantic relationships after meeting on the Internet — only about 12%.
However the most important thing for us is that about 35% of people surveyed admitted that they felt frustrated using dating sites and apps. That’s rather a lot.
Today we’ll try to figure out why so many people are disappointed by online dating, whether the reason really lies in the services themselves, and what can be done with all this. This should be interesting.
The problem isn’t with the apps, but with which you use, and how
Let’s take a look at Tinder, the most popular dating app in the world, as an example. How it operates can be briefly described as follows: you see on your screen photos of different people with little information, and depending on whether you like the person or not, you swipe left or right. If two people have a mutual attraction, they can start chatting on the application.
The main complaint about this format is that it kills any romance. The choice of a potential partner comes down to banal mechanical left-right swipes. Users spend hours thoughtlessly moving their finger across the screen, no longer even peering at the photo. And some claim they like everyone in a row in order to collect as many matches as possible. Not surprisingly, most of these matches end completely uselessly.
Our advice: be as thoughtful as possible when choosing a site for dating and communication, depending on your goals, wishes and personal preferences.
Let’s analyze this advice with specific examples, and along the way provide some more useful recommendations!
Classic dating sites and apps — for finding a potential pair
To start looking for a potential partner on these sites is a logical decision. But there is one very important nuance here. The majority of new users choose sites and applications that everyone knows about — Tinder, Badoo, Bumble, Match and others. The problem is that there are too many users, and too much variety. And this causes problems — it’s extremely difficult to find your soulmate among the endless stream of users. Many people generally consider it a futile exercise to attempt to find someone here.
What to do?
If popular dating sites don’t give you what you want, it’s time to try niche sites and apps. Do you have a hobby, or any individual preferences and interests? Try to find a site where there are people like you.
There are many more niche and unique dating services than people think. Here are just a few examples: Bristlr — an app for bearded men and their fans, Tindog — dating for dog owners, SaladMatch — dating for having lunch together, Trek Passions — a dating site for geeks, Tall Friends — dating for tall people. There are myriads of options!
Of course, there are many times fewer users on niche platforms than on Tinder or Badoo. But the audience here is dedicated, interested in making friends and dreaming of finding like-minded people.
Social networks and instant messengers — for communicating with friends and loved ones
At the dawn of MySpace, Facebook and other pioneers in the world of social networks, they offered users a completely new format of communication. At that time, millions of people got to know each other here, made new friends, even met their other halves. There were many separate sites for dating in cities and so on. Indeed, when social networks (and particularly messengers) started, they were a very good alternative to dating sites. Nowadays very few people get to know each other on social networks. Facebook has turned into a source of news and a platform for communicating with friends and family. And recently, all this communication has completely migrated to instant messengers. So trying to look for a soulmate on social networks or instant messengers is not the most promising plan.
What to do?
Our main advice is not to harbor false hope for a successful friendship on social networks, and even more so on instant messengers. They no longer work the way they used to. And users are not very willing to make contact with strangers here. The reason is simple — there are too many fakes, bots, advertising accounts and common scammers. Of course, we’re not saying that there are no chances for a promising acquaintance here at all. We just want to advise you not to rely heavily on social networks.
Online video chat — for live communication on any topic and searching for interesting people
At the mention of the word “video chat”, Omegle and Chatroulette immediately come to mind for many people. That’s no wonder, because these were essentially the first chat roulettes in history. Before them, there was no such thing on the Internet. In 2009, Omegle and Chatroulette took off, eclipsing many of the popular dating sites at that time. Their audience grew, and alongside it some of the problems of communication in video chats. Firstly, the moderation was (and still is) very mediocre. Secondly, the audience on popular sites was very diverse. This was not always a plus. At that time there weren’t fewer fakes and bots in chat roulettes than in social networks. Thirdly, not everyone understood what random video chats were for, and that here you could get to know each other more successfully than on classic dating sites.
What to do?
In the wake of the popularity of Omegle and Chatroulette, many alternatives appeared. The most interesting of them include chatrandom.com, camsurf.com, videochatomegle.com and ome.tv. It is these platforms we advise you to pay attention to. They are newer, more modern and more convenient. They have gender and geographic filters, as well as other useful search tools.
The most important advantage of video chat is live communication. You see a person in front of you, hear their voice, observe gestures and facial expressions — everything is like in the real world, only more convenient and safer. Be sure to consider video chat sites as an alternative to dating sites and apps. A completely new experience awaits you!
How not to be disappointed in dating services and in yourself
Finally, we want to give you a simple piece of advice: don’t expect a dating site, mobile app or online video chat to do everything for you — find the right person, offer you topics for conversation, and give you advice on how to build a lasting relationship. It all depends on you — successful online dating is in your hands.
We also advise you not to limit yourself to just one site — this greatly limits your search range. Use at least 2-3 dating sites or apps and 2-3 video chats. Alternate between them, try to use them at different times of the day and days of the week. This will increase your chances of a successful match even more.
And most importantly, do not give up after the first failure. Thousands of people are disillusioned with online dating after failing to meet or getting rejected by someone they like. Don’t take it personally, move on, search, experiment and have fun with the search itself. After all, the world gives you many options to choose from. Good luck!